Coffee Date: What You Want.


19142196_10213791228679801_788207019_n“When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors, Took our broken hearts and put them in a drawer, Everybody here was someone else before.” -Welcome To New York

Hi, loves. Coffee dates happen every single month over at erinsalmonwrites.com and she writes so well about Jesus and life. So if we were on a coffee date. . .here’s what would happen.

I swing open the door to Starbucks and look around until I spot you. I’m in boyfriend-cut jeans, with a hole in one knee and a slight tear on the upper thigh of the other leg. They seem to mirror each other, each leg rolled up one, two times. The anklet is still there, loose around my left ankle and green-beaded. I’m probably in a black v-neck because all my other clothes are in a studio apartment in Atlanta, waiting for my return. My things are scattered across two states at the moment, torn between house-sitting for my brother and trying to be here for Father’s Day for my dad–this incessant need to run and stay. I’m like a runaway train that keeps making all its stops– stop, go, stop, go. I’ve got a type-writer in my sister’s car, poetry strewn across my mind and my car and the suitcase on the concrete floor of his apartment, cd’s loose in the car I can barely afford where I keep 1989 on repeat, a toothbrush on the edge of the porcelain sink that may or may not be here when I get back. Everything’s up in the air these days. But I’ll pack my little bag and be off again.

I’m only here for a couple of days, I tell you, play with the ends of my hair, mind sitting on the trip back to Atlanta that I’ve never driven before. My nails are black, chipped–the classic artist look. My mind is running a million miles a minute and I probably slathered on that essential oil roller, labeled with a make a wave sticker because it makes me happy. If I lean in for a hug, you can probably smell the faint aroma of orange and peppermint, dancing to wellness with me. It’s a crazy game. I barely know the plays. Some days I feel more like a pawn than a player, but I’m in it to win it.

Today I’m needing something comforting. It will probably take the form of a white chocolate mocha, Venti please. I’ll make small talk, ask how you are. How’s life? What are you working towards? How are your people? How’s your mental health doing these days? Do you need a break? Do you need a hug? How can I be present for you?

If we were on a coffee date…I’d tell you about the city that I’m exploring and how I missed the fireflies in Tennessee again. We’d talk summer bucket lists. I’m about to cross off “Go somewhere by myself” and my sister just crossed off “Messy Twister.” Do you have a bucket list this summer? What are your goals for summer? Are you going anywhere? AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU GO SEE THOSE DARN FIREFLIES WITH ME NEXT SUMMER?

If we were on a coffee date…I’d tell you how I watched Dear John last night only to realize it was a mistake because I’ve never known what it would be like to have someone like John–whose main question was simply, “Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you give me a chance to change your mind?” I kind of want someone like that. What are you looking for? Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, none of this, “Hmm…brown eyes, good sense of humor,” nonsense. What do you want? I want someone who wants to be with me on a Tuesday night. I want someone who wants to tag along for my drives to see where I go, what songs I listen to on repeat. I want someone who stops mid-sentence because they realize I hadn’t finished what I was saying. I want someone who wants to read my book, who wants to know how I came up with the idea and where the characters come from. I want someone I’d marry in December, on the darkest, coldest night.

If we were on a coffee date… I’d ask you who you want to be. We always talk about what we expect of our significant others, but what do you want from you? Who do you want to be to your significant other? I want to be kind and generous and raw. I want to be good in my own skin. I want to live loved and do what I was created to do. I want to go into the mess that is this world and be a light.

If we were on a coffee date…we’d talk mental health. I’ve realized in the past few weeks that I love pouring out to other people, particularly through my words. I love words and my essential oil business, but I came to the conclusion yesterday that I was trying to pour out to other people when I was running on empty myself. Do you ever do that too? I think it’s more common than we know. Sometimes, coffee date, you just need to take a step back. If you’re in a hard season–if you’re in the wilderness–just let it be. Don’t be hard on yourself. What are you doing to keep yourself from burn out? Me? I’m doing the necessary things and not much more. I’m making the appointments and keeping in touch with the people who need me and giving myself a bit of space. I’m ranting when I need to.

If we were on a coffee date…I’d ask about your Netflix. What are you watching? I’ve rediscovered New Girl, Gilmore Girls, and just discovered The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. IT’S BOMB, guys.

If we were on a coffee date…I’d ask what you’re listening to lately. Here’s my list–NO LAUGHING. 😉

Playlist:

  1. Wonderland by Taylor Swift
  2. You Are In Love by Taylor Swift
  3. Welcome To New York by Taylor Swift
  4. Handclap by Fitz and the Tantrums
  5. Follow You Down by Gin Blossoms
  6. My Sharona by The Knack
  7. Migraine by Twenty One Pilots
  8. Kitchen Sink by Twenty One Pilots
  9. Old Time Rock N’ Roll by Bob Seger
  10. Better Man by Little Big Town
  11. The Middle by Jimmy Eat World (CLASSIC)
  12. Riptide by Vance Joy
  13. Green Light (Yes, still…) by Lorde
  14. Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen
  15. It Ain’t Me by Kygo with Selena Gomez

If we were on a coffee date…I’d ask you what you think about the name Scherbatsky for a cat because…I kind of like it. Schmidt was named after a New Girl character and SHE NEEDS A FRIEND NAMED AFTER THE LAST NAME OF A HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER CHARACTER. It would be the cutest thing…

If we were on a coffee date…I’d ask you if you saw Katy Perry’s therapy session. IT WAS FASCINATING. And don’t you think it’s sad that everyone’s hating on her for it? I think it’s awesome that she was that real in front of the world. What do you think about the flack other people get when they choose to be real on social media? Is it brave or needy? Does it help or hinder? This is something I’ve been giving a lot of thought, especially as a writer.

All right, coffee dates. I’m off for the month to be still, write, figure out my next move, explore a city, and learn to pray. Do you need any prayer from me? What can I help with, friends?

Much  love,

Amanda or Mandie OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU CALL ME.

PS: Listed below are the questions I asked in this post. I’d love, love, L-O-V-E to hear from you either in the comments or at manderssss22@gmail.com. I’m always there.

 

1. What’s your coffee order? How’s life? What are you working towards?

2. Any bucket lists for the summer? Any plans? Any destinations? Any goals?

3. Who are you looking for?

4. Who do you want to be? What do you expect from yourself?

5. Tell me what your Netflix/Spotify playlists are.

6. Is being real and honest on social media brave or needy? Is there any compromise?

7. What do you do to maintain mental health? What do you do to keep from burning out too quickly?

8. What do you need prayer for?

 

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3 thoughts on “Coffee Date: What You Want.

  1. Bella Easterbrook says:

    Mandie, I love your writing style! Very happy you’ve joined us for our coffee date!

    I agree, mental health and burnout are bigger issues than we realise. It’s so good you’re caring for yourself and giving yourself some space. I love your description of the person you’re looking for. I’ve already found my man, but it’s so important to think of these things beyond physical features. Love that comes from deep friendship, that’s what I’ve always wanted.

    And Sherbatsky is an awesome name for a cat!

  2. Erin Salmon says:

    The thoughtfulness of these questions — wow!

    1. Iced caramel macchiato is my choice poison at the moment. Honestly, I’ve been in a weird season lately, feeling like I’m falling behind in life. I’m not at all where I thought I would be at 26, but there are parts of my life that I absolutely love. It’s kind of a back and forth, you know? And I suppose I’m working towards some consistency and rhythm.

    2. We’re leaving Thursday on a road trip up the east coast for our fourth anniversary! I haven’t really done much traveling at all, but C has, so I know he’s looking forward to schooling me. I’m just looking forward to time away from the craziness of life.

    3. I don’t know. My life seems to have just the right people in it right now. I’m grateful.

    4. Oh my gosh. How much time do you have? I really feel like God is shaking me up a little bit right now.

    5. I just finished The Keepers on Netflix, and I’m currently listening to Hamilton on Spotify.

    6. I have seen BOTH. Sometimes I think people who consistently feel the need to draw attention to their own authenticity seem kind of gimmicky, as if they’re saying “hey, follow me, I’m real!” I don’t think real people walk around talking about how real they are. My favorite kind of real is the one that shows up quietly and creates space for everyone else to be real, too. ‘

    7. LOTS of praying. And writing. Ignoring my phone and social networking. Also wine, haha. Taking steps back is hard, but necessary. Usually, I realize too late that I need to take a breather, but I’m learning to take better care of myself.

    8. Pray for me as I say “see ya later” to some dear friends who are moving out of state. I’ve basically been a one woman sob fest all day today!

    Love you, girl. You fit so well here.

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